Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Strange dreams and other nonsense

     I think it would be amazingly fun to build a resort and base the theme on my “Journal of the Undead” books.  Assuming money was not an issue, I would buy a large parcel of land in the mountains.  This is where it gets fun. 
     To protect my guests from zombies, I would need to surround the property with a concrete wall.  I’m thinking approximately eight feet tall and three feet thick.  Because I have an eye for aesthetics, it would have to be ornately decorated and perhaps some wrought-iron scroll work on the top.  The gates would need to be both effective and attractive.  Picture drawbridge, minus the moat.  The landscaping I will leave in the hands of professionals, so feel free to picture whatever type of greenery appeals to you. 
     Now the fun part begins.  The type of experience my guests want to have would dictate which building would hold their room.  You see, I understand that not all of us have spouses or significant others who would want the full zombie-compound experience.  One building would be a charming, bed and breakfast style décor with all of the amenities of a fine resort.  The other would be more in keeping with “The Cabin”, the compound designed by Doc, Frank, and Jimmy in Journal of the Undead: Littleville Uprising.  Don’t get me wrong Jimmy is an excellent contractor.  He designed and built an attractive and functional living space but not on the lines of a resort.
     Dining experiences would also follow the theme.  The cabin had delicious, family-style, home cooking so guests would eat well.  Fresh, local produce and wild game would play a big factor in the meal planning.  
     My favorite part would be the entertainment.  During the day, hardcore zombie enthusiasts would get to learn survival techniques, hone their skills on shooting ranges, and participate in bug-out exercises.  If your sweetie doesn’t enjoy those things, there would be spa services, nature walks, and even fun activities for the kiddies.  There’s no reason zombies can’t be a family affair.  At night, how does a full zombie invasion sound?  Participants, armed with laser guns, would need to survive the onslaught of undead hordes (a.k.a. my staff or guests wanting to wear zombie makeup).  We would have to create special halos for the “zombies” to wear that would only detect headshots.  Once the brain has been targeted, that zombie is out of the game.  However, if the zombies grab you, then you’re dead meat.  You have to drop your weapon and join the ranks of the undead. 
     I could ramble on but I think you get the point.  Until it comes into existence, like me, you’ll just have to imagine it in your dreams.  Sleep well. 

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