**Warning: these entries may be graphic and, hopefully, frightening. Keep in mind this is merely fiction. No humans (or animals) have or will be harmed in the production of this blog. All names have been chosen at random and are not meant to represent anyone, living or dead. Any similarities are purely coincidental**
10/25/13 6:15 PM
I was up early this morning. I’d forgotten to turn off my alarm since I only recently joined the ever growing ranks of the unemployed. It was still dark outside and I decided to take a stroll around the neighborhood to try to clear my mind. As I wandered along, I seemed to end up in front of the house growing the Hemlock. With no one around, I snagged a few handfuls and stuffed them into my pockets, wondering how I was going to pull off my newest mission. Once I got home I chopped up the leaves and put them in a zipper-seal bag.
By then it was time to shower and head over to the hospital. There’s nothing exciting to report there. The techs were friendly enough but they aren’t allowed to tell me anything. It was the ride home that made all the difference.
There’s no way to avoid it, I have to drive past the restaurant on my way home from the hospital. The instant its stucco exterior came into view I found myself wishing a huge meteor would come hurling through the sky and smash the whole place into oblivion. It didn’t. But something almost as good happened. As I sat at the traffic light, waiting for it to turn green, I noticed Natalie scurrying across the parking lot with a package in her hand. I had one of those, should’ve had a V-8 moments, where I smacked myself in the head. I can’t believe I forgot. Natalie always takes home whatever is left over from her lunch. Since it’s been kinda chilly out, she probably figured it was safe to put it in her car. I was silently cursing myself for forgetting the Hemlock but then I reached into my pocket and it was there! I didn’t remember putting it back into my jacket pocket but I’m so glad I did. Revenge really is sweet but, in this case, it is also a dish best served as cold leftovers. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed Don’s car was nearby and the spot next to Natalie’s car was open. Natalie has a bad habit of leaving her car unlocked so it’s about time someone teaches her a lesson.
One of the advantages of being an ex-employee is that I know for a fact the video cameras in the parking lot do not work. Well, take that Natalie. The chopped leaves look exactly like parsley but I really got lucky because Natalie had ordered the Garlic Alfredo Chicken. The garlic scent is so strong she’ll never smell the Hemlock. A second death by Hemlock to employees of the same restaurant will certainly catch the attention of the authorities. The restaurant will probably close once the media catches wind of it but if they hadn’t fired me, they wouldn’t be in this mess. Goodbye, Natalie!