**Warning: these entries may be graphic and, hopefully, frightening. Keep in mind this is merely fiction. No humans (or animals) have or will be harmed in the production of this blog. All names have been chosen at random and are not meant to represent anyone, living or dead. Any similarities are purely coincidental**
10/17/13 11:15 PM
I knew Dick wouldn’t show up last night but I had a hard time shaking the disappointment. I puttered around my apartment until it was time to go to work. My mother would have called it sulking. This from a woman who downed a glassful of drain cleaner when my dad left her for another woman. Talk about sulking…way to go, Mom! Well, whether it was sulking or not, I wasn’t really feeling like myself. I guess it was obvious because Natalie kept coming to my station asking me if I was okay. She was wearing that perfume that I love. I swear that stuff knocks me out. It looked like she did something different with her hair too. She blushed when I asked her if she’d just had her hair done. I don’t understand why that’s such a big deal to women but it is. She smiled and blushed and twirled her hair around her finger whenever she noticed me facing her direction. I thought she was acting peculiar but then she did something really weird. She asked me out. Before I could even process what she’d said, she told me she had compared our schedules and we both get off at seven Saturday night. She said we could leave right from here and catch a movie or her friend’s party. She said she wouldn’t take no for an answer so I guess I have a date Saturday night.
I have to admit, I was feeling pretty good when I clocked out. I was on top of the world. Not even the unusually heavy traffic could bring me down but just when you feel invincible-that’s when the other shoe drops. I should have known it wouldn’t last. I hadn’t even flicked on the lights and my kitchen was illuminated with a pulsing red glow. My answering machine flickered spastically, beckoning me to listen to unplayed messages. There were five messages. Most people wouldn’t give that a second glance but almost no one uses my landline number. The first one was a sales call or perhaps a collection call-not that I care. Neither of them will be getting their greedy mitts on what little money I have. The second was from a cousin I never speak to, inviting me to her housewarming-slash-painting party. I swear to God, that’s exactly how she said it too, she actually said the slash. She wants me to give up my free time to paint her house for free and bring her a damn present because she moved into a new house? Get bent.
The last three calls were from the hospital. The first one was a cool, detached computer voice asking me to call them. The second was an actual person telling me it was urgent that I call. The third was doctor somebody with a horribly thick accent telling me I must contact radiology as soon as possible regarding a procedure performed by his department. Fan-freaking-tastic! Like I’m ever going to get any sleep with this hanging over my head. They have my damn cell number in their computer! Why wouldn’t they call my cell if it was so freaking urgent? If I didn’t need those Roofies to give my old pal Dick what’s coming to him, I’d probably sprinkle a little in my iced tea. It's going to be a long night.