A couple of months ago, I wrote a post equating medical procedures to Medieval torture devices. I still stand by those claims. Today, I had some testing done and, even though they don’t fit the “Medieval” bill, they definitely count as torture. For those who’ve had nerve conduction testing done, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t had the “pleasure” then let me enlighten you….
Before experiencing this test, I never really sympathized with cows before; however, now that I’ve been cattle prodded, I feel sorry for the big lugs. I assume I’ve got your attention now. The whole purpose of the nerve conduction test to measure the relay of electric currents zapped into the patient’s body by, you guessed it, a wand that looks exactly like a cattle prod. I have massive bruises on my legs where they attempted to sizzle me like a sausage. Each time they upped the current, I had to suppress the urge to shout, “Ride the Lightning” or “juice up Ol’ Sparky”! I guess the good news is, since I’m hobbled now, I have plenty of time to work on my next book. I’ll be crawling to the bathroom but, hey, my hands and fingers weren’t fried so I can still write. Sleep well.