A couple of
months ago, I wrote a post equating medical procedures to Medieval torture
devices. I still stand by those
claims. Today, I had some testing done
and, even though they don’t fit the “Medieval” bill, they definitely count as
torture. For those who’ve had nerve
conduction testing done, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t had the “pleasure” then let me
enlighten you….
Before
experiencing this test, I never really sympathized with cows before; however,
now that I’ve been cattle prodded, I feel sorry for the big lugs. I assume I’ve got your attention now. The whole purpose of the nerve conduction
test to measure the relay of electric currents zapped into the patient’s body
by, you guessed it, a wand that looks exactly like a cattle prod. I have massive bruises on my legs where they
attempted to sizzle me like a sausage.
Each time they upped the current, I had to suppress the urge to shout, “Ride
the Lightning” or “juice up Ol’ Sparky”!
I guess the good news is, since I’m hobbled now, I have plenty of time
to work on my next book. I’ll be crawling
to the bathroom but, hey, my hands and fingers weren’t fried so I can still
write. Sleep well.
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