Barely Standing...

     There has been much talk lately about making “The Stand” into a feature length film.  The prospect both horrifies and intrigues me.  On one hand, it would be glorious to see an accurate adaptation with a hefty Hollywood budget to delight Stephen King fans.  The reality; however, is that rarely, if ever, does the movie version ever come close to the book.  Case in point: Max Brooks’ “World War Z”.  The only similarity between the book and the movie was the title!

     Let’s assume that someone wants to do justice to, the genius that is, Stephen King and, being a fan themselves, would make a film true to the book.  I don’t envy the challenge.  I agree; it cannot be done in one film-not even a Lord of the Rings length movie.  It would have to be split into parts but moviegoers have already shown they’re open to the concept.  (See: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1&2, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn part 1&2 and “The Hobbit” has been broken up into 3 films, “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and The Hobbit: There and Back Again)  Honestly, the number of films is the least of its woes.  Casting would be tricky; fans are especially touchy in this area.  To be honest, I cannot imagine anyone else playing the role of Stu Redman after Gary Sinise did such an amazing job in the mini-series.  I shudder to think who would be cast in so many key roles.   

      If it does happen, I would like to offer my services, to whoever finally makes, “The Stand”, into a movie.  To do what, you ask?  I want to be their book-slapper.  Yes, I stole this concept from the Internet but I firmly believe it should be a real position!  I want to be the person who, when the director or scriptwriter deviates from the manuscript, I get to smack them upside the head with the book.  Since I have the “Complete & Uncut” version, it’s pretty thick.  I could inflict some serious damage with that thing.  Please, if you can’t do it right- LEAVE IT ALONE!!!  The horrors that could flicker across the screen under the title, “The Stand” truly gives me nightmares.  Sleep well.