I am a firm believer that everyone needs a monster in his or her life. Mine happens to be a 13-pound puppy with a penchant for gnawing on fingers and toes. Perhaps you’re incensed, that I would call my baby a monster, but that only means you don’t know her. She loves playing monster. Yes, to her it’s a game. Through her big brown eyes, life is just one big game.
Take, for example, the dive-bomb monster. When you least expect it, (or, when I’m busy writing) she will run, full force, and launch herself at you. Usually accompanying the “dive-bomb, an attack of smothering kisses directly follows. If you’re unfamiliar with smothering kisses, she will pounce on your head and completely cover your face with kisses- up the nose, in your mouth-essentially suffocating you with kisses.
Next, there is the stealth-monster. She employs this tactic when she’s not getting your undivided attention. Softer than a whisper, she creeps up and steals something from you. Whether it’s the socks off your feet, a pen in your hand or food on your plate, when the stealth-monster comes it will be hers. Stealth-monster immediately morphs into flash-monster, as she dashes off, quick as a flash, with her spoils.
Stink-monster usually attacks my sweetie. If you witness a seemingly random move, where my sleeping puppy gets up, strolls over toward you, waits for a split-second then disappears…most likely, you were crop dusted by the stink monster. I’m not sure which is worse, the smell or the blurred vision but either way, you do not want the stink-monster to visit you!
My personal favorite is the snuggle-monster. Sadly, the snuggle-monster might be part vampire, as it never shows its face in daylight. This nocturnal creature craves affection just before bedtime. Occasionally, in an effort to delay the inevitable, she surfaces first thing in the morning. This usually inspires a few taps on the snooze bar.Honestly, the list could go on and on but I think I’ve made my point. Everyone needs a monster in their life. Snuggle-monster just appeared so I must go. Sleep well.