Friday, May 9, 2014

Ocean- Part 30

Sue Taylor had just finished recording her exposition, closing with her tagline, “This is Sue Taylor and you’re watching Neighborhood News” as Chief Grady and Deputy Barker crossed the sand.
            “Take a good look, Sue Taylor,” Grady barked.  “Their blood is on your hands! How do you sleep at night?”
            “Half an Ambien and I sleep like a baby, not a care in the world.”
            “You make me sick,” sneered Barker.  “Lady, you are pure poison.”
            “Oh, boo-hoo! Is that supposed to make me cry, Deputy? Well, I’ve got news for you…First Amendment, baby.  I can report anything I damn well please and you can’t do a thing about it. I checked, Chief, you can’t pin a felony or even misdemeanor advising or assisting in a suicide on me. I didn’t tell any of these losers to come here and offer themselves up like a virgin sacrifice to Leviathan or whatever the hell is out there. I merely reported the news. They came of their own accord and I say good riddance.”
Grady and Barker stared at the heartless monster named Sue Taylor, shaking their heads in disbelief. It was beyond their scope of reasoning that anyone could be so devoid of human compassion. 
            “I see the way you’re looking at me, like I’m some kind of monster.  Well, I’ve got another news flash for you. It’s a cold world and you either grow a pair or you’re toast. If I’m a monster then the world made me this way. I had a choice just like these people and I chose to change, to evolve, and make something of the pathetic lump of life I was dealt.  They opted to give in to self-pity and take the easy way out so, I’m sorry but I have no sympathy for them.”
            “Look, Edna…” Barker began but was immediately cut off.
            “No one calls me EDNA!” Sue shrieked like a hysterical banshee.  “No one!”
            “Here’s a news flash for you, sweetheart,” Barker replied, unfazed by her outburst. “There are signs posted all over the place that the beach is closed. So, maybe we can’t get you on those other charges but we absolutely can book you for trespassing.  You and your crew have the right to remain silent and I really hope you exercise that right because I’m sick of hearing you flap your gums.” 
Grady suppressed the urge to burst out laughing as his deputy read them their rights.  The camera crew; however, did not. They erupted in a laughing fit and the more Sue shrieked at them, the louder they howled. 
            “Knock it off you morons or I’ll have you fired!”
            “See, Officers, she’s the reason why we were down here. We were ordered to follow her under threat of getting canned. I’ve got two kids, Freddy has student loans to pay back and we can’t survive on unemployment.”
            “Sounds to me like you’ve got a case for a hostile work environment,” Grady responded.  “I think when we’re finished with the paper work; you guys should pay a visit to your employer’s HR department. Being ordered to break the law or end up on the unemployment line sounds like a pretty serious complaint.”
For the first time in a long time, Sue Taylor had nothing to say. She remained silent entire ride back to the police station, plotting her revenge on the blathering idiots she was forced to work with on a regular basis. They think they can report me, huh? We’ll see who’s laughing when I report them to HR first, she silently ranted. One sexual harassment claim and they’ll never work in this business again.  The camera men continued joking around with Grady and Barker the entire trip and as they entered the police station. 
            “Okay, Miss Taylor, come this way and we’ll find you a seat,” Deputy Barker politely offered, though the smirk on his face was in direct conflict to his words. He led her directly to the holding cells and opened the door. “In you go.”
            “W-What about them?” She demanded, pointing to her crew.
            “We’re processing them first,” Grady replied. “I think they’re fine with just a warning, after all, they were only following your orders so they could keep their jobs.  Don’t worry, we’ll get to you soon enough.”
            “I want my phone call!” Sue shouted.
            “And you’ll get it…as soon as we finish. You see, we’re just a tad understaffed and inundated with paperwork so you’ll just have to wait your turn.”
The prima donna of the Neighborhood News team was forced to sit in a dirty cell and wait while Earl, Freddy and Chase, the two cameramen and their intern laughed and joked with the lawmen. 
            “Thanks for your statement, guys. You three can go provided you promise to stay off the beach from now on…no matter what Princess Pain-in-the-Rear says. Deal?” Grady said with a smile.
            “You betcha!” Earl vowed.  “We’re gonna do like you said and head straight to our HR Director too.  I think she needs to be knocked down a peg or two, don’t you?”
After the men departed, Grady and Barker decided to take a little coffee break to let Sue sit and stew a little longer.  Also, they wanted to give Earl and Freddy a chance to file their complaint before Sue tried to get them fired.  Nothing rattled Grady’s chain like seeing a fellow working man get the shaft because of some over-privileged, self entitled, narcissist decided she wanted to throw her title around.  After nearly three hour of letting Sue Taylor of the Neighborhood News team scream herself hoarse, Grady finally opened the cell door and led her to a telephone.  

***Please return Monday, May 12th for the next installment of Ocean***

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