**Warning: these entries may be graphic and, hopefully, frightening. Keep in mind this is merely fiction. No humans (or animals) have or will be harmed in the production of this blog. All names have been chosen at random and are not meant to represent anyone, living or dead. Any similarities are purely coincidental**
10/17/13 11:15 PM
I knew Dick
wouldn’t show up last night but I had a hard time shaking the
disappointment. I puttered around my
apartment until it was time to go to work.
My mother would have called it sulking.
This from a woman who downed a glassful of drain cleaner when my dad
left her for another woman. Talk about
sulking…way to go, Mom! Well, whether it
was sulking or not, I wasn’t really feeling like myself. I guess it was obvious because Natalie kept
coming to my station asking me if I was okay.
She was wearing that perfume that I love. I swear that stuff knocks me out. It looked like she did
something different with her hair too. She
blushed when I asked her if she’d just had her hair done. I don’t understand why that’s such a big deal
to women but it is. She smiled and
blushed and twirled her hair around her finger whenever she noticed me facing
her direction. I thought she was acting
peculiar but then she did something really weird. She asked me out. Before I could even process what she’d said,
she told me she had compared our schedules and we both get off at seven Saturday
night. She said we could leave right
from here and catch a movie or her friend’s party. She said she wouldn’t take no for an answer
so I guess I have a date Saturday night.
I have to
admit, I was feeling pretty good when I clocked out. I was on top of the world. Not even the unusually heavy traffic could bring
me down but just when you feel invincible-that’s when the other shoe drops. I should have known it wouldn’t last. I hadn’t even flicked on the lights and my
kitchen was illuminated with a pulsing red glow. My answering machine flickered spastically,
beckoning me to listen to unplayed messages.
There were five messages. Most
people wouldn’t give that a second glance but almost no one uses my landline
number. The first one was a sales call
or perhaps a collection call-not that I care.
Neither of them will be getting their greedy mitts on what little money
I have. The second was from a cousin I
never speak to, inviting me to her housewarming-slash-painting
party. I swear to God, that’s exactly
how she said it too, she actually said the slash. She wants me to give up my free time to paint
her house for free and bring her a damn present because she moved into a new
house? Get bent.
The last
three calls were from the hospital. The
first one was a cool, detached computer voice asking me to call them. The second was an actual person telling me it
was urgent that I call. The third was
doctor somebody with a horribly thick accent telling me I must contact
radiology as soon as possible regarding a procedure performed by his
department. Fan-freaking-tastic! Like I’m ever going to get any sleep with
this hanging over my head. They have my
damn cell number in their computer! Why
wouldn’t they call my cell if it was so freaking urgent? If I didn’t need those Roofies to give my old
pal Dick what’s coming to him, I’d probably sprinkle a little in my iced tea. It's going to be a long night.
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