I think it would
be amazingly fun to build a resort and base the theme on my “Journal of the
Undead” books. Assuming money was not
an issue, I would buy a large parcel of land in the mountains. This is where it gets fun.
To protect my
guests from zombies, I would need to surround the property with a concrete
wall. I’m thinking approximately eight
feet tall and three feet thick. Because
I have an eye for aesthetics, it would have to be ornately decorated and
perhaps some wrought-iron scroll work on the top. The gates would need to be both effective and attractive. Picture drawbridge, minus the moat. The landscaping I will leave in the hands of
professionals, so feel free to picture whatever type of greenery appeals to
you.
Now the fun part
begins. The type of experience my
guests want to have would dictate which building would hold their room. You see, I understand that not all of us
have spouses or significant others who would want the full zombie-compound
experience. One building would be a
charming, bed and breakfast style décor with all of the amenities of a fine
resort. The other would be more in
keeping with “The Cabin”, the compound designed by Doc, Frank, and Jimmy in Journal
of the Undead: Littleville Uprising.
Don’t get me wrong Jimmy is an excellent contractor. He designed and built an attractive and
functional living space but not on the lines of a resort.
Dining
experiences would also follow the theme.
The cabin had delicious, family-style, home cooking so guests would eat
well. Fresh, local produce and wild
game would play a big factor in the meal planning.
My favorite part
would be the entertainment. During the
day, hardcore zombie enthusiasts would get to learn survival techniques, hone
their skills on shooting ranges, and participate in bug-out exercises. If your sweetie doesn’t enjoy those things,
there would be spa services, nature walks, and even fun activities for the
kiddies. There’s no reason zombies can’t
be a family affair. At night, how does
a full zombie invasion sound?
Participants, armed with laser guns, would need to survive the onslaught
of undead hordes (a.k.a. my staff or guests wanting to wear zombie
makeup). We would have to create
special halos for the “zombies” to wear that would only detect headshots. Once the brain has been targeted, that
zombie is out of the game. However, if
the zombies grab you, then you’re dead meat.
You have to drop your weapon and join the ranks of the undead.
I could
ramble on but I think you get the point.
Until it comes into existence, like me, you’ll just have to imagine it
in your dreams. Sleep well.
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